10.30.2013

你最近还好吗?


你最近还好吗?

 

 

Hmmnn…… 这一句,是我要问回我自己的。为啥这样问呢?

最近,总觉得自己过得好象很空虚似的。时间确实过得很充实,但是心灵上好像有点枯干似的。

确实最近忙碌已经占了我绝大部分的时间,我的确是很充实的度过每一分每一秒,但是人生中却好像有点找不着目的。

虽然我已经有确认的目的了,一切也希望能按着神的旨意行。

可是最近忙得似乎有点累了

这种累,不是体力上的累,更多的是心灵上的累。

今晚,想好好的问回自己:“你最近还好吗?”

 

感情的事嘛来得快,也放得快,没什么好懊恼的。

另外身边的人说我,甚至叫我 Mr. 麻木

我已经忘记了什么是心痛

想当初哭的要生要死的也不知是为了什么。

也许已经习惯了,麻木了。

 

有个女孩,让我有点在意她

她说讲的,我都会不自主的被她影响了

我是蛮喜欢她,但我不会去追她,原因留给我自己就好,不需要解释

我很在意这个女生,是她帮我找回我自己,是她帮我找回我的自信,

是她带我步入成功的路途

如果说每个成功的男人背后都有个伟大的女人

我或许能够了解了。

但这是上帝赐给我的导师,不是属于我的另一半

 

所以,你最近还好吗?

我会说:“最近有点累哦!”

 

10.10.2013

心痛的感觉

最近连续几个月都在忙东忙西的。这边的东西才刚搞定,那边的又来了。还记得那天,练唱时老师问我有没有试过失恋。我摇头。我并不是没有失恋过,而我失恋的次数也不少。但是这次我才发现我似乎忘了失恋是什么样的感觉。究竟这是因为我把我的专注力移开了呢?还是我只是放下了呢?过去的事,如今回想起来,并没有特别多的感触。或者是说还真没什么感觉。我在想也许我比从前看开了,我比以前会想了,我比以前成熟了。也许这都带有可能。又或者是我还没遇到一个能够让我撕心裂肺的那一个吧~

话归言传,我已经忘记了那些年心痛的感觉。我到底是麻木了,还是怎么了?有些时候我还甚至回想我到底有没有心痛过。

我不是没有喜欢的对象。我有。只是我都喜欢专注的望着她。看着她的神情,她的唯美。这就像是有人说:“男人用眼睛恋爱,女人用耳朵恋爱”想念总是有的,但是心中的那份矛盾总是挂肠牵肚的。从前我总是不理会对方究竟有没有男朋友,我总是一味的去追。我相信幸福是自己争取回来的。然而,如今的我去唯唯诺诺。没采取行动,也不想采取行动;想追,却总是提心遥望。既不想让她知道,却又想和她在一起。

然而如今她走了,
剩下的我只期望那一天的到来。
我渴望心跳复活的那天。

I miss you... Michael Hew

This morning is a normal morning, nothing special happen. It just my off day after the Exhibition. But lately i still need to go to the government department to settle some stuff. Is this consider working? I'm not really care about it. It is just fine to me. Some of the people would thinking "Why this fellow write in english so suddenly?"... Hey, take it easy... I just wish to polish my broken english.

As like a normal day, after i woke up. I checked my message, and waiting for a message is called never, checking facebook status for the one who make me miss her for some times. Suddenly i found out today is 10th October. 10/10 is just like a symbol, it always remind me about him... Michael... My best friend... My childhood friend...

I miss him so much. I wonder how if today he din't away from us. I wonder how he looks like if he dint passed away from 10 years ago. 10 years has been passed, i always missed to go to cemetery to see him. I know that he is not there. I know there is just maybe some bone or just some ash. But it does make me feel like he was there.

I miss him... I miss him so much. The things that i would never forget is what his father told me. His father told me that the night Michael in suffering, he keep called my name. This show me that i was an important person to him too... I remember that night, that day i cry damn badly...

I miss you... Michael...